


Memories to make

by Yuulina_vre



Series: Little Supersoldiers [31]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst, Baby Steve, Baby Steve Rogers, Blood, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drowning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Bucky, Kid Bucky Barnes, Kid Fic, Kid Steve, Kid Steve Rogers, M/M, Men Crying, Minor Character Death, Napping, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Panic, Panic Attacks, Singing, Sleepy Cuddles, Team as Family, Torture, Violence, dropping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-03-17 18:57:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18971080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuulina_vre/pseuds/Yuulina_vre
Summary: A mission goes wrong.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The song Y/N sings is named Baby mine.
> 
>  
> 
> Don't forget about my Twitter (Yuulina_vre) and Discord(https://discord.gg/MYgmfSk) for updates and maybe leave a prompt :D

“Lady, get down! I told you, you can’t stay in bed, I told you back in the kids’ room.” Y/N shakes her head and slips into Steve’s room. She waits for the puppy to jump down from the bed before she changes the bedsheets and tidies up the room. Then she walks into his bathroom and cleans the mirror after she finished the toilet and the sink. Lady watches her every move lazily from her spot beside the door. Y/N looks at her reflection in the mirror and smiles. She feels good. She looks a bit sweaty and her hair is falling out of her ponytail but she feels great. Even after cleaning up half the day and walking Lady for over one hour, she still feels great because today they’re come back. Bucky and Steve are on a mission with the team. No one wanted to talk about it before they left and as she called her boys in the past two weeks, they refused to pick up the topic vehemently. So, she had dropped it altogether but still worried. When they don’t want to talk about it, then it’s usually a bad sign. But today they will come back.

Y/N has already cleaned up the kids’ room, the playroom and her own, as well as the kitchen and a bit of the living room. Lady wasn’t much of a help wanting cuddles and attention until Y/N snapped at her. Since then the pup hid in Steve’s room. Now Steve’s room is finished as well, so she picks up the dirty sheets and throws them onto the floor in the hall to the others. Lady follows her as she walks over to Bucky’s room. She strips the sheets down again and throws them onto a pile on the ground before she pulls new ones on. She tidies up the floor and the cupboards and makes sure everything is neat.

If she’s honest, there isn’t really something to clean up. In neither Bucky’s nor in Steve’s room. Both men are really clean in their living areas. So, she walks into the bathroom, cleans the mirror, sink and the toilet before she leaves it again. The sheets are picked up and join the others before she takes them all and walks over to the laundry machine in the little room outside in the hall of this floor. She pushes everything in and starts the machine. Lady, having her watchful eyes on her, barks once and lets herself get patted as Y/N comes back out of the laundry room. Y/N making her way back to her own room. Somewhere in her cupboards she finds a package of sweet chocolate. She takes it with her and picks up a bag from the kitchen counter. “Come on, girl.” She calls after the pup who happily follows her. Together they step into the elevator in the hall. “FRIDAY, Tony’s penthouse please.” The AI says nothing but the elevator flies upwards nonetheless. Y/N gets out of it and heads straight for Tony’s bedroom, not looking if Lady follows her. She knows the dog does it nonetheless because of the tapping nails on the floor behind her. Y/N walks up to Tony’s bed and places one of the chocolate squares on his pillow and plants a coffee coupon out of her bag next to it. It’s from a place she had discovered with Steve as they walked around Brooklyn to find old buildings, he could tell her stories about and relive some memories. Sometimes Bucky joins them and sees what he can remember. In her opinion they serve the best coffee she has ever tasted. Soon, they slip back into the elevator. Systematically they visit each of the Avengers rooms. Each one gets a chocolate square. Nat gets a new pipe-cleaner for her guns, Clint a new glove for his bow and arrows, Wanda gets a new case full of pastel pencils (because little Steve stole her old ones), Vision gets a new beanie for the times he gets out with Wanda and Bruce gets a new package of his favorite tea. Peter and Sam rarely stay for the night but they each have a room here, right opposite Y/N’s and the boy’s apartment, so she puts new goggles for Sam’s suit on his pillow and a limited-edition box of all the Star Wars movies on Peters.

As she heads back to her own apartment, she feels her mobile vibrate in her pocket. She takes it out and smiles, not even looking who is calling she picks up the call. “Hello, sweetie. You’re calling earlier than I thought.”

 _“Hello Y/N. This is Nat.”_ Nat’s voice doesn’t sound very happy or as if she’s smiling at all. Instead she sounds concerned which makes Y/N stop in her tracks, her own smile vanishing. Lady collides with her legs at her sudden stop and looks up confused at her mom. “Hey Nat. I thought you would be one of the boys.”

_“Yeah, no. They can’t really talk right now.”_

“Why? Are they okay?” More worries blossom in her chest.

_“More or less. They aren’t really hurt. A few scratches and bruises, nothing major.”_

“Okay…That’s good right?”

 _“Yeah. Yeah it is. Just…”_ Y/N hears Nat talk to someone in a hushed voice before she’s back on the phone. _“Sorry. The mission didn’t go like we thought it would. It was a bit more difficult and it went downwards really fast. We don’t really know what happened at Steve’s and Bucky’s side of the building. They got separated from Tony and Sam and the coms died halfway in the fight. But Y/N… Whatever it was, it was bad._ ”

“What- What do you mean?” Y/N can hear her own voice shaking and she wills herself to stay upright, steadying herself with a hand on the wall. Lady noses her and whines but Y/N ignores the dog. _“When we finally managed to find them, there was glass and water everywhere. They were surrounded from unconscious and… And dead HYDRA goons. There was so much blood… I think Bucky did it but Steve was covered in blood as well. But what really freaks me out is that they both were…”_

“They were?” She asks as Nat stops speaking. “Nat! What was with them?”

 _“They were already kids.”_ Y/N takes in a shaky breath and closes her eyes. She feels herself relax a bit. “My god, Nat. I thought you would tell me they were ripping someone apart.”

_“Well, its worrisome Y/N. Whatever it was that happened there, it was so bad that they dropped on the battlefield. If just one of these goons would have been still awake, they could be dead now. Or worse they could have been taken and experimented on. They were really lucky. I just called you so that you know that the next few days probably will be worse days. They’re both asleep right now and we’ll be home in approximately six hours. But Y/N. It seems they’re still really stressed. It took us forty minutes to get them to finally stop crying and another thirty to get them on the plane. They cling to Tony right now. Hell knows how he managed to get them calm.”_

“Tony is sometimes good for surprises. Thank you, Nat, I really appreciate it. I’ll meet you on at the landing platform. Fly save.” Y/N hangs up and leans against the wall with her back. She lets out a long, deep breath. Her hands clutch her phone a bit tighter as she opens her eyes again. Lady paws her leg and whines at her. Y/N crouches down and kisses the top of the dog’s head and hugs her to her chest. “Come on, girl. Let’s get ready for the boys.” She pulls back and walks slowly back to her apartment, slips in the rooms of her boy and places new fingerless gloves in black for Bucky and in brown for Steve on their pillows and walks then straight into the kids’ room. There she sits down on Bucky’s bed and takes the small teddy in her hands. She stares at it, turns it around a bit and glides her fingers through its fur. She puts it down next to Steve sheep, letting her hand glide through the white fur as well before she lays down a small pair of fingerless, black gloves on Bucky’s pillow. He wanted them for a long time now and this time Y/N finally gave in. She turns back to Steve’s bed. On his pillow she places a pair of new shoes. His old ones are dirty and broken. He doesn’t want to have new ones and Y/N thinks that it has something to do with how expansive it was to get new ones back in the 40s. She still brought him new ones. Lady watches her and noses her leg again to comfort her. Y/N looks up the clock on the wall. Still six hours to go and to worry.

 

* * *

 

When the jet lands, Y/N can already hear the crying before the doors even open fully. Lady jumps nervously beside her. Tony is the first to step out with Steve in his arms. The little boy has a red head and grips on Tony’s suit tightly while he cries. Bucky is on Tony’s hand, just a bit sniffling but otherwise he seems fine. The brunette looks up as he rubs his flesh hand on his nose. The moment he sees his mommy, tears gather in his eyes. He chokes back a sob and let’s go of Tony’s hand and runs over. Y/N quickly crouches down and catches him, clutching him to her chest and pressing kisses along his face while he cries. “Hey, big boy. It’s okay. Shh, you’re safe. Everything is okay.” She kisses him again and rubs the back of his head. Lady sniffs at him and licks his cheek before she darts off to jump up and down on Tony to get a look at Steve. Y/N picks Bucky up in her arms and stands back up. “Tony, thank you.” Y/N sighs and lets her hand glide over Steve’s back as Tony steps up to her. Lady, thankfully sits by his side now. Steve looks up and starts crying even more, reaching out and making grabby hands for her to pick him up. She struggles a bit but soon she has both her children on her arms that are crying and clutching to her. “My poor boys.” She kisses each of them on the head and nods to the others. They all look tired and a bit worse for wear but still concerned for the boys. “I’ll get you down.”

“Oh no, Tony. It’s okay. FRIDAY will open me the doors. You probably want to step out of your suit anyway. You must be tired.”

“FRIDAY. Suit.” Y/N doesn’t hear FRIDAY’s answer but quickly the suit vanishes from Tony’s body and flies away to his workshop. “Now?” Y/N sighs and shakes her head but smiles at him nonetheless. “Fine. Lead the way.” Y/N follows Tony, who walks just slightly in front of her but mostly next to her. Lady is at her side the whole way. He opens her the doors but says nothing. They step in and Y/N sits down on the couch, both boys still cling to her despite Bucky having calmed down enough so he’s just sniffling again. Lady jumps up next to her and her head bumps on Bucky’s leg and sluggishly pats her. Steve is still crying loudly. She can hear his voice get hoarse already. “Hey, Stevie, sweetie. I’m here. You’re okay now. Shh, shh.” She looks around and spots Steve’s inhaler on a cupboard next to the TV. She knows that Steve throws himself into an asthma attack sooner rather than later if he keeps that up. Tony sees her gaze and grabs the thing. He sits down next to her and pulls Bucky back into his lap. The boy whines and tries to hold on Y/N but as soon as he sees that he’s just a few inches away and still gets his calming snuggles he lets go of her and lets Tony have his way. “Thank you, Tony.” She takes the device. “How long has he…” She looks down at Steve as his breathing and crying starts to sound strange, so she gives him one puff of that device and waits before she gives him a second one. The blonde whines each time but his breathing sounds a bit better. She hugs him against her chest again and stands up, walking up and down behind the couch so she’s still next to Bucky and rocks Steve up and down. Lady looks up briefly from her spot on the couch but doesn’t move. “How long he’s been crying? The whole time since we found him. He slept for a few hours in the jet but started again after a nightmare. Same with this little guy.” Tony strokes Bucky’s hair as the boy snuggles closer to him. Y/N hums in acknowledgment but continues her pacing. “I’ll pick up some clothes.” Tony tries to get the boy from his lap but Bucky holds on tight and whines which sounds more like a chocked back sob. The man sighs. “Ok, buddy. Let’s get you and Capsicle get dressed, okay? Help me get clothes?” Bucky shakes his head but doesn’t protest further as Tony stands up, still with him in his arms. The man disappears and Y/N is left with Steve. “Hey, my sweet hero. Come on, calm down. I’m here now. Shh.” She kisses his forehead as he turns his head a bit and rubs his back. “Baby. Shh.” Y/N lays her head softly on his and sighs. She starts humming a melody that jumps in her head and soon starts to sing.

 

“Baby mine, don’t you cry

Baby mine, dry your eyes

Rest your head close to my heart

Never to part, baby of mine.

 

Little one when you play

Pay no heed what they say

Let your eyes sparkle and shine

Never a tear, baby of mine.”

 

Tony comes back with Bucky on his arms, already dressed and some of Steve’s clothes in his hands. Bucky holds both plushies in his hands. And she can see that he wears the gloves. Both brunettes stare at her with awe and even Steve forgets to cry for a moment but returns so silent sobbing so he can still hear his mommy sing. Y/N smiles and walks over to Bucky and Tony, kisses the smaller brunette and strokes through his stands as she carries on singing.

 

“If they knew all about you

They’d end up loving you too

All those same people who scold you

What they’d give just for

The chance to hold you.

 

From your head to your toes

You’re not much, goodness knows

But you’re so precious to me

Sweet as can be, baby of mine”

 

She hums the refrain a third time before she stops entirely. Three eye pairs stare at her and she feels herself blush. She forces a smile on her lips and takes the clothes from Tony, nodding in thanks at him and stets Steve down. Before he can properly whine, she hushes him with a kiss and strips him out of the big suit he still wears and into the pj’s Tony had brought. From somewhere Bucky reaches down and gives her the sheep and a pacifier. _Smart boy._ She gives both things to Steve who immediately sucks on the pacifier and hugs the sheep against his chest. He rubs his puffy, red eyes with his free hand before he reaches for Y/N to pick him up again. She does and turns back to Tony. She just wants to thank him once again as she sees that Bucky sucks on his thumb. “Bucky. Stop that.” She scolds in a friendly tone. The boy flinches a bit and she can see that Tony is about to say something but Y/N walks over to the cupboards next to the kitchen, reaches in one of the drawers and gets a packaged pacifier from it. She plugs it out and walks back to Bucky, gently shoving it into his mouth and kisses his cheek. Bucky closes his eyes and sucks on the pacifier. He leans his head on Tony’s shoulder and sighs. Tony raises an eyebrow but says nothing. They sit down on the couch again. Lady had jumped down somewhere along the line and now lies on her own bed by the window. Y/N turns on the TV and switches to some documentary over animals in Africa and turns the sound low, so that it only plays in the background. She looks down at Steve who has his eyes closed and a slack grip on her shirt, but he still sucks on his pacifier. Tony mirrors her and she looks over to him. Bucky seems mostly asleep. “Tony.” Her voice is gentle and soft but worry flows with it. “What happened there?” She doesn’t ask to get an answer because Nat already told her that no one knows but she asks just to say it out loud. To let her wonder flow and her worry have some room. Tony shakes his head and his face turns into an unhappy mask. “I don’t know. I really wish I could tell you. I was supposed to stay with them the whole time but...”

“Hey.” She places a hand on his knee. “I know you all tried your best. And sometimes it’s just…”

“Not enough? Pointless? A nice try?”

“I was going with difficult to give what is really required. I really know you all do what you can. The fact that no one got hurt today shows me that you watch out for each other.” She looks down at Steve who makes a small sound as his breathing slowly evens out. “Maybe some days are just bad days but you all will make up for it on your next mission. Because you ever do.” She looks back up at Tony and smiles at him while placing her hand from his knee on his hair. She glides her finger through his strands. “It will be better in a few hours.”

 

* * *

 

Y/N knocks her had into the pillow. It’s not going to get better. After she got the boys to bad and Tony left, she tried to figure out what to do with her thoughts, so she started reading, baking and even drank some whine. She went to bed at ten after nothing seemed to really help. Now it’s two in the morning and Steve wakes up screaming the fourth time. She sighs and stands up. She doesn’t bother with pulling on sweatpants like the times before. She just walks with only her shirt and panties into the kids’ room and scoops the poor boy into her arms. “Now, now. Bad dream again?” The boy nods and clings to her. Lady comes shuffling in and jumps up on Steve’s bed, watching them curiously. Y/N suddenly feels Steve’s butt getting wet and suppresses a sigh. “I’m proud of you, you know. You’re such a good boy.” She rocks him a bit and plants a kiss above his right ear. “Even with such horrible dreams you’re barely wetting yourself. You’re such a good, big boy now.” She kisses him and reassures him that he’s a good boy, so that he doesn’t get antsy at being bad. And it’s true. Through the first three nightmares he didn’t wet himself. She had expected him to but he didn’t. This time though it seemed he had a really bad nightmare. He’s shaking and sweating and his eyes somehow look a bit hunted. She walks with him to the changing table in the bathroom and sits him down on it. The boy holds on tight to her middle and she stands there for a while, rubbing his back and letting him calm. “These dreams are mean to come to such a good boy, huh, Stevie?” She hears naked feet and tapping nails on the floor and as she looks to the left, she sees Bucky and Lady come in. He’s sleepy and rubs his eyes. He leans against Y/Ns leg, one hand in Lady’s fur and buries his face in her tight. “Hello, Bucky. Did we wake you?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry. Come here.” She picks the brunette up and kisses his forehead before she sets him down beside Steve. “So, now, big boy. Can you hold on Bucky for a moment so I can change your pants, hm?”

“N-no.” Steve sobs and makes grabby hands for her. Y/N takes his hands and places a kiss on each of them before she gives them to Bucky. Surprisingly Bucky takes them, kisses them and then kisses Steve’s cheek before he yawns. The smaller boy doesn’t giggle as he does usually but he doesn’t protest either as Y/N steps back into the bedroom and gets new pants. She makes quick works of pulling off the old, wet pants, throwing them into the hamper in the corner next to the table, getting him dry and changed into the fresh ones. She picks up both boys and carries them into her room, followed by Lady. “Do you have James and Cloudy?” Both boys shake their heads but get comfortable. Quickly she walks back, gets the plushies and steps back in her room. She slips in between the boys, gives them their plushies and waits for them to cuddle close to her. Lady jumps up on the bed as well and normally Y/N would protest but she lets it slip this time as the dog rolls into a ball of fur at her feet. She waits for the boys to get back to sleep before she lets out a deep breath. “FRIDAY, please tell the others I need their help tomorrow.”

“I’ll tell them when they wake up, miss Y/N. Good night.”

“Good night, FRIDAY. Thank you.”

 

* * *

 

The morning is not really better than the night but it shows clearly that, whatever it was that happened on the mission, affected Steve more than Bucky. Bucky had slept through the night and is almost his old self by the time everybody gathers in the common room, when a bit needy and cuddly but Lady gets that covered most of the time. It doesn’t matter with who he’s cuddling though. At the moment he’s wrapped tightly in Nat’s arms with Lady right next to her.

Steve on the other hand is as worse as the day before. He barely lets Y/N go away for more than six feet and starts crying as soon as she’s out of his sight. He doesn’t talk and barely eats or drinks and forbid god if someone comes near him. Everybody is a bit lost at his behavior. Wanda and Vision promised her to prepare lunch and Bruce said he would take care of dinner for her so she had this covered and she’s really grateful for that. Nat, Tony and Clint have tried to find out through the data of the coms, what had happened but couldn’t find as much as a clue. Sam tries desperately to get Steve to build something with him with the blocks. It doesn’t really work. At first Steve had only screamed each time Sam came near him but now the boy just stares at the blocks, occasionally places two or three on top of each other before he pushes them down again and stares at them before he starts anew. “May I tell you that lunch is ready?” Vison looks at them before he retreats back to the table. Y/N looks back at Steve as Sam walks past her with an apologetic look. “Hey, Stevie. You’re coming?” But Steve stays on the carpet. He stares at the blocks in his hands again, even ignoring Bucky who comes over now and holds out a hand to help him up. Bucky soon has enough of that, as Steve ignores him completely. He huffs out a breath and stomps over to Clint and lets himself be placed on a chair at the table to eat his lunch. “Stevie. Hey. Come on, you’re lun-” She stops speaking as suddenly a sob comes from the blonde. Each head turns around to him. Steve lays down and rolls together. His eyes are closed tightly and his hands grip hard enough on his arms so that the knuckles turn white. “Steve?” Y/N walks a bit closer but stops after just two steps. “Holy shit! How?” Lady jumps down from the couch, whining at the change in the atmosphere and slowly tiptoes over to Steve to sniff at him.

“Y/N?” She looks briefly at Bruce who comes up to her. As his eyes fall on Steve he looks almost as pale and shocked as Y/N feels “How? I mean… What?” The others come up behind them. “What is it?” Tony’s voice sounds from somewhere behind her. “Oh my… Is that possible? That shouldn’t be possible.” Y/N sees Bucky turn on the chair to try and see something. A sad cry hollers through the room and Y/N snaps her attention back to Steve. Steve has… dropped. He’s no longer the three-year-old and he’s not the six-feet- and- something-tall man either. Steve is now… a baby. A real, crying, chubby and small… baby.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Y/N quickly walks over as the baby, drowned in Steve’s clothes, starts wiggling and vanishing under the fabric. She pulls the shirt away, shoves gently a hand under his head to support it and picks the naked, small child up. “Hey. Yeah, hello.” She adjusts Steve in her arms, as his blue eyes meet hers, so that she can hold him comfortable in her arms and stokes his chubby cheek with her finger. She cooes a bit at him and rocks him to calm him down and walks over to the others, Lady follows her and lets out a happy bark while her tail waggles. She probably feels that Steve feels better now. The others look at the bald baby and Y/N swears that she hears Clint say ‘Damn, he’s cute’. “Holy…” Sam looks over her shoulder but says nothing else. The room is silent except for the cries of the baby. Y/N rocks him and looks up at the team before she looks back down at the little human in her arms. “Hey. Mommy is here. Are you hungry? Yes?” She speaks to Stevie in a hushed voice while dancing from foot to foot and rocking him to calm him down. And it works. “He needs clothes.”

“I’ll have yours somewhere.” Y/N looks up at Tony with a questioning gaze. “I couldn’t throw them away. We still don’t know if this was a one-time thing. And I don’t want to buy new ones and have you running around naked if that happens again.” Y/N smiles at him but shakes her head. “I was one year old. It will be too big. He’s probably about… three months I would say. And the clothes are mostly dresses. No. You don’t want dresses, do you? No.” She cooes at the baby and Steve makes a goo sound. “Yeah. You know what, you and mommy look in her bedroom, okay? Mommy has the old clothes from your uncles. Do you want that? Yes? Their nice clothes. I had them on, too, when I was a baby. You’ll be the prettiest baby ever. Do you want that?” Another goo sounds through the room and his hands come up and grip on her necklace. She swears she hears Clint and Sam curse about how cute Steve is, together this time and how Nat slaps one of them while scolding them for swearing in front of the kids. Y/N smiles at the boy, one hand joining his on the necklace so that he won’t rip it down from her neck. “You have your old baby clothes?” She looks up at Clint and smiles. “Couldn’t throw them away. No one knew if I wouldn’t end up having kids and maybe be too poor to buy clothes.” Clint raises an eyebrow but Y/N shrugs and walks out of the room. Lady settles on the feet of Bucky’s stool und looks up expectant. Bucky quickly passes the dog some of his lunch before he pulls on Bruce’s hand and the man turns to him. “Why is Stevie a baby? Will I be a baby, too? I don’t want to.” Bruce rubs his hands unsure and frowns. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. Do you feel like your becoming a baby?” Bucky shakes his head, still holing one of Bruce’s finger. “Then I don’t think you will become one.” He smiles down at him and sits down next to him. Bit by bit the others sit down as well. Everybody except Wanda. “Wanda. What is it?” Vision stands back up and places his hand on her arms. She shakes her head lightly. “Nothing, Vis. I’ll be right back.” The young woman leaves as well. The others look around unsure of what to do but soon start to eat. Tony looks at Bruce and they exchange a glance. “What do you think of this? Will it be permanent? Is he always getting to this age now?” Bruce shrugs his shoulders. “I really don’t know. We still don’t know what happened back there. I think Steve is so under pressure right now that his serum decided his normal dropping isn’t enough and got him to drop once more. We’ll have to see if this stays like this, though.” Tony nods and stares back at the door Wanda and Y/N vanished trough before he takes a cup of coffee and takes a sip.

Y/N walk back in a few minutes later. She has Steve probed up at her chest as he chews on her necklace, supporting his butt and his back. The baby looks around and Y/N uses the opportunity to shove a little wood-ring in his hand and frees her necklace from his grip. He starts chewing on the little wood-ring as soon as her hand leaves it. His eyes fix on Bucky. “Wah..” He stretches out a hand in the boys’ direction and Y/N chuckles. “Yes. That’s Bucky. Your brother. He beautiful, too, just like you, is he?”

“Wha.” Steve bounces and a small smile drops on his face and shows his gums without teeth. Steve wears a jumper in a soft yellow with little white sheep’s and small orange flowers on it. It’s still a bit too big for his small frame but fits him. Y/N walks over to Bucky and crouches down, so that Bucky can look at Stevie. Lady jumps up and presses her wet nose at Steve’s cheek, making him giggle. Bucky’s eyes are wide and his mouth hangs open. He reaches out with his metal hand but stops before he can touch the blonde. He stares at his hand, unsure if it’s okay to touch his, now really a baby, baby-brother. Y/N just nods at him but before either of them even can do something Steve wraps his little fingers around Bucky’s pointy finger and shoves it into his mouth. Bucky giggles and extracts his fingers, wiggling them a bit until Steve manages to grab on again. This time the ring finger is shoved into his mouth. “Y/N.” She looks up to see Wanda walk in. She has a small bottle in her hand and passes it to her. “What is this? It’s warm.”

“I remembered a recipe for baby milk that I learned when Pietro and I watched over the kids from our neighbor. I don’t know if he likes it. I hope he’s not allergic.”

“Thank you, Wanda. I appreciate it.” Y/N smiles at her and looks at the stool beside Bucky. She stands up and adjusts Steve so that she can hold out the bottle. Steve lies in her arms, reaches out and as soon as the bottle hist his lips, he starts sucking as if he’s starving. “Slowly. You choke on it, Stevie.” Suddenly a fork with noodles is in front of Y/N’s face. She looks up and sees Bucky holding it to her. She smiles and takes the bite, humming. “Thank you, Bucky.” Bucky beams at her does it a second time. Y/N takes the bite again, smiles but shakes her head as the next fork comes. She blows a kiss to his hair. “Bucky, sweetie, you need to eat it yourself. You can feed me when Stevie is finished if you want. Okay?” Bucky looks a bit sad, if his falling smile is any indication, but he nods and returns to eating his noodles himself.

It takes a bit until Steve finishes the bottle but soon, he does. Y/N grabs a towel and throws it over her shoulder before she hoists the boy up and pats his back. Bucky looks curious and Y/N smirks at him as soon a loud burp sounds through the room. The brunette giggles and pats Steve’s butt. The blonde reaches down at Bucky, making some noises. Bucky gives him one finger that soon finds its place back in Steve’s mouth. “Y/N…?” She looks up and finds Tony standing beside her. “Do you want to hold him?”

“Ah… yes.” Y/N looks at the billionaire as he shuffles in front of, quite blushing and all shy. It’s a new side on him, but she likes it, even if it doesn’t really suit his image. Carefully she gets Bucky’s finger out of Steve’s mouth and passes the confused blonde over to Tony. She adjusts his hands a bit so that he can hold Steve properly. Steve stares at the man for a moment than he squeals with a bright smile an bumps his head, a bit too forcefully, against Tony’s shoulder. The billionaire laughs and starts pacing with the boy through the common room. Lady follows each of his steps, keeping watch over the blonde boy. Y/N sits down and looks at her son. “Bucky…” She whines and taps his shoulder. “I’m hungry.” Bucky looks at her in confusion because she’s clearly capable of feeding herself. But Y/N whines again and plants her forehead on the small boys’ shoulder. Bucky looks around and Y/N can hear how Nat passes him a bowl of noodles and whispers something. Bucky nodes and turns back to his mommy. “Open up, mommy.” She lifts her head and smiles as Bucky has a bowl in his hand and a loaded fork in the other. She opens her mouth and Bucky starts to feed her. He giggles and makes train noises or lets the fork fly like a plane for Y/N to catch it. Sometimes he drops the noodles by accident on his or her pants but she gladly ignores it for the greater good of Bucky finally having some fun after this mission. The friendly atmosphere is interrupted by a loud discussion that comes into the common room. Everybody looks up and suddenly Pepper and Rhodey stop discussing whatever it is and just stare as they enter the room. Tony’s is still pacing and Y/N follows Pepper’s and Rhodey’s gaze to the man who is holding an unknown baby in his arms, softly speaking to it and looking down at it as if he just sees the most amazing thing in the world and can name it his own. Y/N stops Bucky’s hand who is about to pass a new forkful to her. She kisses the tip of his nose and stands up, walking straight to Rhodey and Pepper. “He’s looking happy, don’t you think?” Slowly Pepper and Rhodey let go of Tony and instead stare at her. “Who is this?” Rhodey asks. “What did you do to Tony?” Y/N giggles and points at the man. “There he is. That is the billionaire, play boy and philanthropist you’re asking for. With a soft spot for little and chubby babies.”

“Who is this?” Pepper asks again and stares in disbelieve at her boyfriend. “Don’t worry Pepper. It’s not a child from his one nightstand or something. It’s Stevie.”

“Wha- No, never. That? That is Steve?” Rhodey stares at the child in disbelieve and Pepper lets her mouth hang open. Then Tony looks up and sees them. He stops pacing immediately and gets red once again. Then he clears his throat and walks over in a few quick steps. He passes the now sleeping child to Y/N arms before he looks at his two friends. “Well, that was… unexpected.” He rubs the back of his neck but Pepper takes the awkwardness away in pressing a kiss to his nose. “You’re looking good with him.” Y/N swears the man blushes even more and Rhodey seems to have detected that as well. He starts teasing the man immediately who groans and shoves them both out of the room. He waves shortly at the rest before he’s gone as well. Y/N walks back to Bucky and looks up shortly before she smirks a Bruce. “Here Bruce, Can you hold him so I can finish eating?”

“I-I don’t think that’s a goo-” Y/N passes the child to his arms without letting him finish and sits down next to Bucky. “You’re holding him like a bag of potatoes.” Nat steps up beside the scientist and adjusts him. “Better.”

“Nat. Please.”

“No, no. Hold him. Just don’t get green. You’re doing good.” She smiles at him and gives him a peck on the cheek. Lady sits down next to Bruce now and licks his arm in a quick manner before laying her head on his lap. She stares at him lazily. To be fair, Bruce looks like he could get green any second but Y/N knows he’s just scared that it actually happens. She takes another bite from Bucky, the bowl now almost empty. “Bruce. It’s okay. You’re doing good. Have some fate in yourself.” The man looks at her with an unsure expression but it softens a bit. “So, Buck. How about we go out today? The weather is nice. Maybe uncle Sam or Clint play some soccer with you?” She squints up at the men who nod. Bucky nods, too, and not even half an hour later Sam, Bucky, Clint and Y/N, with Steve in her arms, are on the grass outside the compound. Y/N sits on a bench and watches them, occasionally she looks down at Steve who woke up crying and now clings to her, his eyes closed but still sniffling and chewing on the ring. “Now, baby. Where are your pretty eyes?” She strokes his cheek with a finger and Steve really opens his eyes gazing up at her. “There they are.” She smiles at him and tickles his side and makes him squeal and giggle. She adjusts him on her lap and the small boy immediately finds Bucky. “Bah..” He reaches out for Bucky and looks up at his mommy. “Yeah, Bucky’s playing with your uncles.” The baby makes a sound as if he hums and places a hand into his mouth despite holding the ring in his other hand. She smiles at him and kisses the back of his head while watching the boys play.

 

* * *

 

“Oh, Stevie. Now, sleep. Hush and sleep.” She rocks the baby and tries desperately to get the small boy to sleep but he’s not buying it. Instead the little child screams and whines and cries while holding tight on Y/N’s hair which gets painful now. She sighs and looks at Bucky who is already ready dresses and sits on his bed, waiting for Y/N to get him in bed. She frowns and then starts humming the same song from the day before. It takes a while but with rocking and humming he goes to sleep pretty quickly. Carefully not to startle him back awake she puts him in the crib Tony has brought as she was a kid that one time. She puts the sheep next to him and walks over to Bucky. “Hey, big boy.”

“Mommy, up.”

“Oh.. a small boy today?” She smirks but picks him up and rubs her nose at his cheek. She sets him back down, though, takes his hands and kneels in front of him. “Listen, Bucky… Do you want to sleep at uncle Tony’s or aunt Nat’s place today?”

“No. Why?”

“Because I think it would be better.”

“Noo…” Bucky starts whining but Y/N strokes his cheek and silences him. “Hey, hear me out. Stevie will wake up often at night now. I fear you will not get any sleep.”

“No!” He almost shouts and Y/N quickly turns back to Steve’s crib but the little one sleeps deeply. Bucky stomps to the ground and crosses his arms. “Okay, okay. I see. Then let’s get you to bed.” She smiles at him and Bucky soon relaxes and lets himself be tucked in and reading to sleep.

The second time Steve wakes up he does as well and starts crying, too. After that, he sleeps in Y/N’s bad. She thinks he regrets not taking the offer to sleep at someone’s else place.

 

* * *

 

The sun is a bit blinding on the clean floor but neither Bucky nor little Stevie seem to be bothered about it. Bucky builds something, Y/N can’t quite identify with his blocks while Stevie lies beside him. He has one of Bucky’s wooden bricks in his hands and starts chewing on it, still gazing at his big brother.

Y/N looks back at the kitchen counter where Wanda shows her how to prepare the bottle. It doesn’t take more than five minutes to heat it up and while she does Wanda prepares some breakfast for her and Bucky. Lady lazily sleeps on a couch but looks up as Bucky stands up. The brunette takes the block out of Steve’s grip and makes him whine but he quickly garbs Steve’s hand, who holds on tight. Bucky helps his brother on his feet but Steve collapses back down on his butt. Y/N turns to look at them and grins. “Bucky, sweetie, Stevie can’t walk. He’s too small.”

“But we have to wash our hands.” He looks adorable confused at her and Y/N suppresses a giggle. “You’re right. Come on.” She picks up the baby and Stevie starts to pull her hair in delight. She winces and carefully entangles his hands from it before she reaches down and takes Bucky’s hand. “Lady, stay.” The dog jumps down from the couch and ignores the command. She walks next to Bucky, her tongue lolling out. She looks a bit as if she smiles and Y/N just shakes her head. Quickly, she walks to the nearest restroom and ushers Bucky inside. “Do you need to use the toilet first?”

“No, mommy.”

“Okay. Then wash up.” She watches carefully as Bucky washes his hands and then helps Steve with it. The boy laughs and slashes the water a bit around, wetting himself and Y/N and the whole mirror. She grimaces a bit but ignores the wet mirror. Quickly she ushers Bucky back out to Lady who’s patiently waiting outside. For a second, she watches as Bucky pats the dogs head. Normally the boy has to wash his hand again because of the dog smell but Y/N is too tired to argue about that. Steve is still tugging on her hair and she feels herself get a bit frustrated. Wanda pokes her head into the hallway. “There you are. Breakfast is ready. Vis, Clint, Nat and Sam are joining us.” She smiles kindly at Y/N but frowns as she sees Y/N’s face. The woman looks back into the common room before she walks across the hall to Y/N. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just tired. Stevie screamed four times this night.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I should have shown you how to make the bottle yesterday.” Y/N just shakes her head and waves the thought away. “It’s not your fault, Wanda. And I don’t think that he woke because he was hungry. He probably had nightmares.” Steve looks up at Y/N and bounces in her arms, squeals and tugs hard on her. “Ow. Stevie, stop that.” She takes his hand from her hair once again and as he tries to get them back on it again, she holds them down. Steve whines and Y/N can already see the tears in his frustrated eyes. “Oh god. Wanda. Let’s get him this damn bottle.”

The bottle actually managed to prevent the crying from Steve. Bucky shoves his breakfast into his mouth as if he would starve any second and he still managed to sneak some of it to Lady who sits by his side. “Bucky, would you stop feeding Lady your breakfast? You can fill her bowl when you’re finished.” Bucky glares at her for a full second before his head gets quite red. The rest of the morning is slowly calming and nothing major comes on. Clint, Nat and Sam leave soon for the debriefing with Fury and Wanda leaves to get Vision out of the compound for a few hours. Tony had vanished with Pepper sometime that morning and is probably not around for a while. So, that leaves Y/N alone with her boys and the puppy. She doesn’t know where the others are and as long as everything goes by smoothly, like now, she doesn’t really care.

It’s around lunch time Y/N figures that something is a bit wrong. “Mommy? Can we go to the park? It’s boring here.”

“Sorry, sweetie. We need to eat lunch first, okay? And then Stevie needs his nap.”

“Okay.” A bit sad, the boy shuffles back to the ground between the couches and Y/N watches him for a second before she sighs. “Wha.. bah.” Steve points at Bucky and looks at her with his big blue eyes. She smiles down at him and kisses his cheek before she blows a raspberry on it. Steve squeals and swats her head away only for her to return to his other cheek. She doesn’t see Bucky’s jealous gaze on her.

A little later she sits in their apartment on the couch and watches the baby sleep in her arms while she sips a cup of tea. “Mommy?” Bucky tugs on her sleeve and she looks up. “What is it sweetie?”

“Can I go and play with uncle Sam?”

“Shh, a bit quieter. You’ll wake up Steve. Uncle Sam is out today. You’ll will have to wait.”

“Okay. Can I watch some cartoon?”

“No, Bucky. That will wake him, as well. I’m sorry. Go play with Lady for a bit, okay?”

“Okay.” Bucky lets his shoulders hang and slowly walks back into the playroom. Lady jumps up from her spot next to his cars and action figures but Bucky shoves the puppy away only for her to return to him. She jumps up and down next to him, begging for some pats. “Go away.” The dog doesn’t understand and instead continuous what she’s doing. “Go away!” Bucky almost screams and shoves her away from him with a bit of force and pushes her out of the room before he closes the door behind himself. Silent and angry tears run down his cheeks and he slides down on the door. A few blocks lay beside him and in a rush of anger he starts throwning then around, kicking his toys here and there, pulls out blanket after blanket from the drawers and throws Steve’s pencils and papers through the room until it’s a mess. Then he curls together on the ground and cries silently.

When he calmed down enough, he sniffles and looks around. He’s still mad and angry. He hates mommy. She has only eyes for his stupid baby brother now. He opens the door silently and sees Y/N walk into the kitchen. Steve sits on the ground next to Lady who whines a bit as the boy tugs at her fur. Bucky walks over and Steve looks up. “Bah.”

“Yeah, yeah sweetie. Mommy needs just a second.” Y/N calls out of the kitchen. She hasn’t heard Bucky come out of his room. The brunette looks still at Steve and clenches his hands. He wants to punch him so bad, make him cry and regret taking his mommy from him. Steve looks at Bucky again a smile on his face but Bucky growls at him. “Stop smiling at me. I hate you!” He’s about to push Steve as the boy starts crying. In that moment Y/N comes back out of the kitchen, a bottle in her hand. “Bucky!” She takes one of his hands and pulls him up to stand. “What do you think you’re doing?!” She’s half shouting and looks at him angrily. Bucky feels his eyes water again as she picks Steve up and shushes him gently. “I expect better of you Bucky! I’m disappointed.” His stomach sinks at the words and he vibrates witch guilt, sadness and anger. “But he takes you from me!” He shouts back in full volume. “He makes you to stop loving me!” He wipes at his eyes fiercely and turns to leave. Y/N realizes what’s happening and quickly grabs his wrist with her free hand. “Stop, Bucky.” She says it a bit gentler now but the boy doesn’t care. He tries to hit her hand and pulls and tries everything to get away from her but she tightens her grip on him and pulls him over to the couch. Then she sits down, spreads her legs and pulls the boy to sit between them.

“No. Let me. I hate you.”

“James Buchanan Barnes! You’re stopping this instantly!” Y/N’s voice is harsh and stern and she knows that Bucky gets antsy when he hears her speak like that but just now, she doesn’t know how to stop him before she accidently drops Steve or he gets punched while Bucky squirms. The boy goes still and just cries and sniffles. He doesn’t lean in on her, how he used to do, but he doesn’t run off either. “That’s better.” She tries to get the annoyed tone out of her voice and to give it more persuasiveness, she kisses Bucky’s hair. Bucky angrily rubs his hair as she leans back and stares at the carpet and Lady at his feet. The dog doesn’t seem to mind the shouting. Instead, she curls into a ball and simply goes to sleep. “Come here, honey.”

“No.” Bucky crosses his arms but Y/N ignores his gesture and pulls him to her chest. For a minute she just strokes her hand over Bucky’s tummy to calm him while she still holds Steve in her arms who's still sniffling. She leans forwards and kisses Bucky hair again before she leans her forehead on the back of his head. “I love you, Bucky. Quite a lot even.” Bucky just pouts and says nothing. Y/N sighs and with her free hand she reaches and tries to unwind his arms. With a bit of a struggle she manages and before he can do something with his now entangled hands; she drops a sleepy Stevie in his arms. “No. Mommy. I don’t want him.”

“You’re holding him for a second, Bucky.” She leans over his shoulder and kisses his cheek while she still supports Steve in his arms. The blonde looks up at Bucky and rubs one eye. His other hand grabs Bucky’s shirt and holds it tight. He pulls it a bit down but doesn’t do anything else. “You know, Bucky, I really love you. I love you so much I can’t come up with something to compare it to. But I love Stevie as much as I love you. And normally I spend equal time with you. You’re right that I don’t have much time for you today. I’m sorry for that, sweetie.” She kisses his cheek again before one of her hands wipes at the tear stain on his other cheek. “I know you feel lonely and not loved. I know it feels like I abandon you and don’t want you. But that’s not true. I will never leave you alone. For nobody. But you see your brother here. He’s so small at the moment and he can’t care for himself. I need to carry him because he can’t walk. I need to change his diaper because he can’t use the toilet. I need to hug him because he feels scared if he doesn’t see me for a few minutes. But I know you can do all these things because you’re already such a big boy. And I know I can rely on you. I’m sorry I didn’t talked to you about it but please, please believe me when I say that I love you so much. And I know Stevie loves you, too.” As if to confirm it Steve starts giggling and reach for Bucky’s hair. “Bah.” He pulls it a bit and squeals as Bucky get his hand away from him. The little chubby hands instantly wrap around his metal hand pulls it to his mouth and start sucking on his fingers. “You see. He says he loves you.” She kisses Bucky temple and looks at the brunette. From what she can see of his face she sees that he still has watery eyes but he’s smiling. She kisses him again before she extracts her other hand from Steve. And combs it through Bucky’s hair. She starts braiding Bucky’s hair and pulls her hairband out to fix Bucky’s braid while the boy starts to wriggle his metal finger away from Steve so he has to catch them. Now and then Bucky allows Steve to get one finger and laughs when Steve sighs and chortles when he gets one. “Bawy.” Steve looks up slaps Bucky’s cheek. Thanks to heaven he doesn’t have as much strength as he usually has. “Hm. That’s the sign, Bucky. He loves you more than me. You’re the first thing he can say.” Then Y/N blows a raspberry on Bucky’s cheek and makes him laugh and squeal, too. He leans back and gazes at her. “I love you, mommy.”

“I love you, too, my hero.” She places a last kiss on his cheek before she helps him to give Steve his bottle.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello :)
> 
> Like I metioned on my Twitter and Discord, I take a break from writing to get some new ideas and stuff.  
> You can still send me prompts and everything.
> 
> I'm actually working on a prompt but this will take some time until I can finish it.
> 
> I'll hope you understnad.

The day after it looks a bit better. Stevie just wakes up once or twice the night and Bucky managed to sleep through all of it. Lady has stood guard in their room. Y/N gets Sam and surprisingly Tony and Pepper to play with Bucky. Tony even managed to coax Peter out of school and come to the play date. “Tony. I can’t believe you got Peter out of school earlier. He can’t ditch school like that. Not for playing.”

“Y/N. Come on. He loves the kids and they love him.”

“No, Tony. Actually, I agree with Y/N. What will you do with our kid if it ditches school like that?” Pepper looks at him with raised eyebrows and smirks as Tony rolls his eyes.

“Actually, I don’t mind.”

“I’m sure you don’t mind, Peter.” Y/N smiles at him as he carries Bucky on his back and runs around the room to get away from Sam who is chasing them. “Oh, come on, Y/N. It’s a onetime thing. Let it slip.” Tony _almost_ looks like he’s pleading, so Y/N settles on glaring at him before she sighs and looks at Pepper. “Do you want to help me change Steve’s diaper and then we make a Lady’s day with him in the living room? We can ask Nat and Wanda if they want to join in.”

“With wine?”

“Obviously.”

“Okay. I’ll get the girls and the stuff and you get the monster ready.” Pepper nods and vanishes in the direction of the living room. Y/N smiles at her back. Pepper has started calling Steve a monster after he tugged on her hair a bit violently and almost pulled a few strands out. She makes quick work of getting a new diaper on him. She talks to him and tells him what she’s doing while he chews on another diaper he has pulled out of the bag as Y/N had put it beside him. “Now big boy. Let’s watch how your brother is doing, yes?”

“Bawy!” Steve’s eyes almost shine with happiness. Y/N laughs and pulls him upright on his hands. “Yes, Bucky.” She takes him up in her arms but fights with him about the diaper. Eventually, she manages to get it out of his grip and instead plants a pacifier in his mouth which he happily accepts. As she walks with him to the playroom, she hears Pepper talk to the other girls. She opens the door to the playroom and watches at the scene. Sam lies on his back while Bucky sits on his chest with a triumphant smile, claiming he and his brave horse have defeated the wild dragon. Lady is licking Sam’s face and he tries helplessly to get her away from him while Peter just laughs at him with tears in his eyes. Tony sits on Steve’s tiny chair and claps as he claims that the princess needs her kiss now. Y/N snorts at that and Tony throws a quick glare at her before he gives Bucky a smooch on his cheek. “Bawy!” Steve reach out for Bucky and the brunette turns around to look at him. He runs over and pulls Y/N down to give her a kiss before he kisses Steve a few times on his face. The little one giggles and tries to mimics him with the pacifier in his mouth. Y/N laughs and kisses Bucky’s cheek. “You having fun?”

“yes! I killed the bad monster and rescued princess Tony, mommy.”

“Really. I knew you’re a hero.” She kisses him again. “Mommy is in the living room with your aunts. Can we call you if we need a hero to rescue us?”

“Yes! Me and my pony can save you, mommy.”

“Ah, I’m glad. Then have fun with the princess and your horse. And don’t hurt the monster to bad, okay?”

“Okay mommy. Bye, Steve.”

“Bawy.” Steve waves a bit as Bucky does and Y/N giggles as he runs back to Tony and climbs on his lap. She shakes her head and joins the other girls in the living room.

 

 

* * *

 

At this night Bucky drops and lays next to Y/N. They just look at each other for some minutes before Bucky starts to apologize. Y/N shushes him and after he doesn’t stop, she starts kissing him to keep him from talking. It turns to a full making out session and gets heated soon after. They fell asleep in each other’s arms, naked skin on naked skin.

But now she’s awake. And she’s worried.

“Bucky, hey. Wake up.” Bucky’s slowly opens his eyes; his breath is far to laborate but Y/N sees in his eyes that he slowly comes back to her. His grip on her hand loosens but she doesn’t extract the hurting limb from him. Instead she holds on tight on his hand this time. “You’re here with me. In our apartment, in my room. You’re good. You’re safe.” The man takes some stuttering breathes and looks at her as if she could vanish anytime soon and he has to remember her face and cherish it. “You’re good.” She whispers and places her other hand on his bearded cheek. She leans in a bit and closes her eyes as she presses a soothing kiss on his forehead. “I promise.” For a second, he looks at her and she fears that he’s not back at all but then he sighs and pulls her on his chest and holding her like he’s afraid she runs away. “God, doll…”

“Shh… You’re good.” She lies on top of him for a while hearing his hammering heartbeat slowly calm down. At some point she probs herself up a bit, chokes back a hiss as she puts weight on her lightly bluish hand, though she knows Bucky detected it nonetheless, and looks him in the eyes. “Do you want to talk about it.”

“N-not really.”

“Okay. That’s fine.” She gives him a kiss against his lips and lingers there for a second, letting Bucky charge on the contact until his hands slowly grip on her tightly but gently and loving at the same time. She leans back and looks at him again. She lets her fingers glide through his hair that clings to his face and extracts it from it. “Bucky… I’m sorry, but I need to know what happened. Why are you two so upset?” Bucky closes his eyes and sighs defeated. He knows that she needs to know and that he should tell her but he’s tired and he really doesn’t want to talk about it. “Okay…” His voice is silent and defeated so Y/N lays back on her side of the bed and motions for the brunette man to follow her. He lays down half on top of her, his head on her chest so that he can listen to her steady heartbeat now while she plays with his hair. He takes a few minutes until he starts telling her from the mission. “We made our way to the buildings. We were silent and we thought no one had seen us. Steve had sent Nat, Clint and Bruce to the one side. Me, Tony and Sam were following him while Wanda and Vision should watch and come to who needs them. We managed to slip in but suddenly there was this noise. The coms died. Somehow, we were surrounded. Hydra knew we would come. We fought our way through and as Steve and I turned we were… alone. We didn’t know what to do but lives were in danger so we made our way further through the building. We came into a hall and there were so many children, Y/N. Small children, not older than nine years. The youngest looked like three. They were crying and pleading and suddenly there were so many Hydra guys. They pulled some children out of the room and others… t-they… they killed them… they just... killed them.” Y/N feels the man tremble. She tightens her grip on him and hums to him, so he can calm down. Bucky takes a few more minutes to calm and a few more until he starts speaking again. “Stevie got furious and started punching his way through. The way they pulled the children.” He gulps down and takes a shaky breath. “They threw them from the building when we came. The kids… They were just innocent kids…” He stops speaking and closes his eyes. “Some of these goons got on our backs and drugged Steve. He was out of it, couldn’t even walk a straight line. They pushed him through some halls and threaten to kill him if I pull something. This room was bigger. They got us on a rondel to look down. And.. and they threw Stevie over the railing as he came to himself again. He looked so scared. I grabbed his hands but they had some shocker and disabled my arm and he… he fell. The water was ice cold. I could… I could hear him gasping and panicking and… I don’t want to hear that ever again, Y/N. I don’t want that.” He sobs and Y/N feels some tears of her own. “I know, I know. It’s okay. You’re both safe now. We protect him, okay?” Reassuring, she strokes his cheek and waits until he has collected himself again. “I blacked out. I know I fought with some of these goons and I know I destroyed this glass pool and got Stevie back. God, Y/N. He was so afraid. He couldn’t even get a proper breath in and he started dropping then and there. I was panicking as well. What if someone was awake? Or hiding somewhere? And then I… I dropped, too. I.. I couldn’t…”

“Shh. You did good, Bucky. You kept Stevie and yourself safe. You came back to me. That’s what matters.” With a bit force she pulls the man up so that his head lands on her shoulder. She kisses his forehead a few times and wipes away his tears. “You did good. Screw these Hydra people. Screw it if they know about you. We deal. But now you’re safe with me. You’re safe and you got Stevie home.” She kisses him a few times more and just holds him. They lie in silence and Y/N tries to process what Bucky told her while comforting him. “Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“Do- Do you think we should stop?”

“Stop? Avenging?”

“…Yes.”

“Hm.” She hums again and thinks for a while before she shakes her head. “You do so much good in this world. I don’t think you should stop. Not unless you want to. This is what you like, what makes the bad days go to good ones. If you would stop, would you feel like it will be the right thing? Do you want to stop?”

“I-I don’t know…”

“Then”, she lifts up his chin and gives him a kiss. “You should sleep it over, talk to Stevie when he’s back and maybe tell the team why you think about it. They’ll understand.” Bucky nods and closes his eyes against her shoulder. “Can… Can we stay like this? Am I to heavy?”

“You’re prefect. We’ll stay. Try to sleep handsome.” She kisses his forehead a last time but returns to play with his hair. She waits for him to fall asleep before she slips under herself.

 

* * *

 

Y/N awakes with a start. The crying through the baby phone is loud and desperate as if he’s crying for some time now. She sighs and rubs her tired eyes before throwing back the covers and slipping into Steve’s big pair of sweatpants that still lie on a chair next to her big mirror. She shuffles to the kid’s room where Tony has set up the crib but stops in front of the door. The crying stopped. She frowns and slowly pushes the door open. The sight that greets her is marvelous. “Bucky…” She whispers it in a soft whiff. The man doesn’t hear her so she watches him with a fond an endearing smile while he holds the baby in his arms, rocking him and giving him one of his metal fingers to suck on. Lady sits at his feet and watches him with guarded eyes. “Yeah. And then I’ll take you to those football games Sam talks about and we make fun of him when his team loses and we’ll hide Nat’s brunch and run away so she doesn’t get us. We’ll have so much fun. And mommy will scold us but makes us cocoa nonetheless and we’ll get all the cuddles from her.” He leans down and kisses the child’s forehead. Y/N slowly walks up to them and places a soft hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “And then daddy makes the washing for at least a month, right?” The man looks at her with a smile and cooes at Steve. “It will be worth it. Go back to bed, doll. I got it.”

“Nah. I watch you for a bit. You’re a beautiful dad.” Bucky smiles and looks back down at Steve but his eyes show a sad expression, so Y/N places a hand on his cheeks. “What is it, Buck?” She strokes some hair strands behind his ear and studies him. He shakes his head and looks further down at Stevie who chews on the finger. “I’m happy.”

“You don’t look so happy.” He takes in a deep breath and lets it out again. “I just… I love being a daddy. And I really want kids sometime but… But none with my blood.” She takes in a breath and stares at him in disbelieve. “Why not?”

“Y/N. Do you really want to have a child run around that’s messed up like me and gets bullied for it? A child that doesn’t know what it’s capable of and someday explodes and doesn’t know what even happens? And who has to be ashamed of his dad and for what he did? I don’t want that. I can’t burden an innocent life with that.”

“Bucky. That will not happen. You were brainwashed. It wasn’t in our DNA. You will never give that part to a child. And you’re making up for the danger you did. You’re fighting on the good side now. You’re saving lives.” She kisses his cheeks while her hand glides through his hair in a calming motion. “And just let me say that Steve probably thinks the same about his serum. But one day. One day I’ll have two little kids run around in here. And these kids will be your children and they will be healthy and happy and have the best fathers a child can have. And I won’t take a no as an answer.” Bucky smiles sadly at her and rocks Steve a bit as he makes some noises. “Why do you want that? You never know-”

“And neither do you, Bucky. I rather have a child running around and have to explain a lot and be there for it any minute to guide it than have nothing. It’s always worth it. You’re always worth it. And so is Steve. I’ll take every risk to get you happy, even if it means all the bad things that can happen to these children are gonna happen. If the child will get powers, it doesn’t know of, so be it. We’ll help. And if the child is as sick as Steve was… I don’t care. We can cope with it and give it a wonderful life. I know we make up with it with lots of good thing and everything our family can come up with. I’m not afraid.”

“Sometimes I don’t know if your mommy isn’t a bit crazy, Stevie. She scares me.” Bucky leans down and kisses the boy again before he gives a kiss to Y/N. “And your right with being scared of me, young man. Come to bed, now.”

“Just let me put him in the crib.”

“No, take him with you into my room.”

“Y/N, no. I will crush him.”

“No, you won’t. Come on.” She drags the man with the baby into her room. They get settled, Steve in the middle and they both look down at him while Lady gets comfortable at the foot end of the bed. “Everything is alright, Bucky. I promise.” She kisses him and places a hand on Steve’s little tummy. “I know it.” And Bucky decides to believe it.

Everything will be alright.

 


End file.
